How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How does Kris Kringle clean his hands?

Santatizer

Why should you never play poker with a crocodile?

You will lose every hand.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

How done is she?

a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Hell you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Remote Control Jokes More Remote Control Jokes

What is the pinnacle of laziness?

Having a remote control for your remote control.

Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

A Remote control