How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

When will the Jared jokes stop?

When they get too old.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Yard Jokes More Yard Jokes

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

Molest Jokes More Molest Jokes

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

Neighbour Jokes More Neighbour Jokes

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

How does a poor man watch TV?

with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.