Yard Jokes

How many feet are in a yard?

4 if you have a dog.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Who do you call about stray cats walking around your yard?

Brian Setzer

What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

What animal brings the most boys to the yard?

The

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What's the difference between one yard and two yards?

A: A fence.

What flavor is the milkshake?

How far away is the yard How could you know its better than mine You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

What's the range of an accordion?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What is the range of a tuba?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard?

Hang one in the front!

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard."

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Glasgow Jokes More Glasgow Jokes

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

What do you call a detective from Glasgow with three feet?

A Scotland Yard.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

No thanks, I'm stuffed."

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How do most elderly golfers die?

They have a bad stroke

Why do they have fences around cemetaries?

Because people are dying to get in.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do they call them "S'mores"?

Because you always want another one!

How much is a gram?

Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"

Detective Jokes More Detective Jokes

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex?

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex? So he could solve the staircase.

Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)

Golf Ball Jokes More Golf Ball Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

When it's been sliced.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP