Yard Jokes

How many feet are in a yard?

4 if you have a dog.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Who do you call about stray cats walking around your yard?

Brian Setzer

What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

What animal brings the most boys to the yard?

The

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What's the difference between one yard and two yards?

A: A fence.

What flavor is the milkshake?

How far away is the yard How could you know its better than mine You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

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How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

What's the range of an accordion?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What is the range of a tuba?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard?

Hang one in the front!

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard."

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Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

What do you call the removal of a fence?

Defence

What do white people and fences have in common?

They both get jumped by Mexicans.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ?

Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !

What did the road say to the chicken?

If you cross me it will be the last thing you do!"

Glasgow Jokes More Glasgow Jokes

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

What do you call a detective from Glasgow with three feet?

A Scotland Yard.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

School Yard Jokes More School Yard Jokes

Why did the Catholic Priest cross the road?

To get to the school yard.

Why did the chicken cross the school yard?

To get to the other slide!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?

A philosophy student asks you you want fries with that

What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law?

A Small Medium at Large

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?

They prevented hispanic attacks

Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

A: He wanted to sing higher!