How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

Why was the women unable to leave the boutique?

She couldn't find the Dior

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?

Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

What sound does a black widow make?

My husband be dead

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery?

Honey, why the wrong face

Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.