Honey Jokes

What did the Flower say to the Bees?

You know you want it, Honey"

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Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.

What 2 things do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

They both ate honey and they both have the same middle name.

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

Why do bees sting?

They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)

What does a bee do with his stinger at night?

Put it in his honey.

How do you get honey from a graveyard?

From a zombee! I'll see myself out

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What do you call a person who helps teach others to fart?

A tooter. (thanks, honey)

Where does a bee put its stinger?

In its honey

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What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

What's the difference between zombies?

Q: What's the difference between zombies? A: Zombies make honey, and zombies don't.

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

What do bees who are allergic to honey get?

Hives.

Why do the bees have honey?

Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing.

Where do American bees store their honey?

In a USBee hive. Thank my ten year old for that one.

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am?

Honey!" Nut "Cheerio!"

What are the three words you dread the most while making love?

Honey, I'm home."

What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

ANSWER: Milk and honey.

What are we supposed to do about it?

Dad replies: "I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."

What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

What really makes Whinny the Pooh angry?

When other people put two fingers in his honey.

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery?

Honey, why the wrong face

What does a man with no honey do?

He cantaloupe.

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !

Why does everybody love honey?

Because it never gets old.

Why did the bees go on strike ?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !

What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?

Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

What do beef hearts smell like?

Honey.

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What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

What happened when Hamlet discovered his love dead?

Necro-Ophelia

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

How do you get gum out of hair?

cancer -I'm sorry-

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did you get 100 in?

Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add !

What are you called if you are paid to be a thing?

A pro-noun!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies"

Why was the Xbox 360 named as it was?

Cos when I seen one i turnt 360 degrees and walked away Playstation for life xD

Winnie Jokes More Winnie Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ?

Winnie the Pooh !

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

What do you call a professional tennis player that keeps serving out?

Novak Chokeovic

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?

He ate a 10 year old wiener.

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.