What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?

Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

What's big and round and full of seamen?

Your mom

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What's the best part of two lesbians marrying?

Two cooks in the house.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

Feyonce.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What's harder the softer it gets?

Typing withw my peniuasd 9damnit!)

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish?

Lightbulb.

What do you call someone who photographs fish?

A school shooter

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

What the hell do you want?

Him: Um, YOU called ME.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner?

Cellfcentered

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

ANSWER: Milk and honey.