What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife?

An erection and a place to put it.

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Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

How are new marriages just like LOST?

The Significant Others just want babies.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart?

A knife.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What will the sequel to Lake Placid that takes place 50 years later be called?

Lake Flaccid

How to Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday?

A: They place flowers on the grave.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a "violent" stabbing incident?

Is it possible to stab someone non-violently

What celebrity is most likely to stab you?

James Blunt