What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

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Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

What excuse did the unemployed cellist give for going dutch with his date?

He's flat Baroque...

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

When two ants want to run away and get married, who do they seek for help?

The Antelopes.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!

Beast Jokes More Beast Jokes

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

What is 667?

The neighbor of the beast.

Abduct Jokes More Abduct Jokes

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

sometimes i get the joke.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.