What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox?

By thinking outside the box

What would you call Mike Mauser if he was a cat?

Mike Meowser

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?

Shot in the head in Dallas.

What do you call a skank playing "H.O.R.S.E?

She missed two shots, so she's a ho. I'll leave now.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

What did the bartender say to the alien?

You're drunk ET, go home!"

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What ya call a lesbian with large fingers?

Well hung!

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

How do you make a Cat sound like a Dog?

You pour some gasoline on it, light it on fire and it will go

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies Happy Easter

Rum Jokes More Rum Jokes

Why do differentiating mathematicians prefer Manhattans to Mojitos?

Ryes over rum.

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.