Karma. (Please forgive me)
He was a karma-karma-karma-karma, karma chameleon!
Because it made her wait seven minutes before posting something.
An Upboat.
Ripostes.
A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.
When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.
Two test tickles.
Because it was pi-rated.
Omega!! Note: surely it already exists but I thought of it independently and am proud of my terrible joke!