Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

How do you know an Asian has robbed your house?

They're still in your driveway

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a banambulance make?

Naner naner naner

What sound does a Turkey make?

coup coup"

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?

I'm just asking for a friend)

Why don't the Germans care about the word, 'nichts'?

It means nothing to them.

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

Where do people in Detroit get their groceries?

They don't.

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!

Sale Jokes More Sale Jokes

How much for the best friend?

Manager : Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale?

A top-of-the-lime model.