Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house?

He's snowed in.

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why are you driving in a bathing suit?

Motorist: I'm in a car pool.

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?

A LOCOmotive.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Why do you need to take notes during jokes?

Joke was supposed to be this: Why do you need to take notes during church? because the peoples of noah's day, "took no note".

How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire

Compliment Jokes More Compliment Jokes

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Windshield Jokes More Windshield Jokes

How do you get an Asian to crash their car?

Make the windshield full screen

What was the last thing that went through Paul Walker's mind before he died?

The windshield.