Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road?

To get to the Other side

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rabbit?

A dead rabbit with a big hole.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Mace die?

Through the Windu.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies?

He only got nailed once

Why didn't Jesus get into college?

Because he got nailed on the boards.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What is the most popular dating website in the south?

Ancestry.com

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

Resurrect Jokes More Resurrect Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)