Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings?

He went to Jared.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why was the Headless Horseman depressed?

He could never seem to get ahead in life.

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

What company makes Nerds?

Your mom.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why does no one buy food for a platypus?

They always have a big bill!

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

How does a Priest find a little boy in the woods?

Very exciting

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What time was it when Jared got fired?

When the big hand touched the little hand

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

Scar Jokes More Scar Jokes

What song did Scar sing when he fixed his car horn?

Beep repaired...

What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef?

A borkmark.

Earring Jokes More Earring Jokes

How much do pirates pay to get an earring?

A Buccaneer.

What did one earring say to the other?

What did one earring say to the other? You go on a head, i'll just hang round 'ere