82 Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

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Which number confuses people?

82

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La Jokes More La Jokes

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ?

Mack-u-la !

People Jokes More People Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?

A mist conception.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

How do you know a drummer is at your door?

The knock speeds up.

How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?

A: The knocking always speeds up.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What's the shortest possible sentence in Canadian English?

Sorry, eh.

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

How many dead babies does it take to confuse a blond woman?

to get to the other side....

What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie?

A bad judge of character.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

Which one will fall off first?

The one with the smaller mu.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Mace Windu from Star Wars die?

Through the windu!

What happens when a guy from Finland dies?

He is finnished. Ha ha ha. God I am so depressed. :(

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

What did the Italian baseball coach say about the only woman on the team?

Ciabatta very good!