La Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

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What do you call a feminist from LA?

A SoCal Justice Warrior.

How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York?

About 6 hours.

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

Who takes the best selfies in LA?

I need someone good to do mine.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ?

Mack-u-la !

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ?

Jack-u-la !

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Wilderness Jokes More Wilderness Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What do feminists search for on scavenger hunts?

Reasons to be offended.

What is the difference between a feminist and a cat?

One of them is annoying, dangerous, hairy, lazy, disgusting and filthy and the other one is just a feminist

Pasta Jokes More Pasta Jokes

What do you call pasta with alzheimers?

forgetti

Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?

Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.

Pie Jokes More Pie Jokes

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

What kind of phone makes music?

A saxophone.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's scarier then ten babies in one jar?

A: One baby in ten jars How do you got a baby in a container A: blend it.

Who else have gone through this Sarcasm?

Me: Baby, I was thinking about you so sending you She: Thanks for Thinking

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why are ugly guys better with computers then women?

Turning off a computer often fixes the problem.

Why did the lemon turn green?

Because he had lime disease

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A complaint Bernard!

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.