La Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

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What do you call a feminist from LA?

A SoCal Justice Warrior.

How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York?

About 6 hours.

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

Who takes the best selfies in LA?

I need someone good to do mine.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ?

Mack-u-la !

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ?

Jack-u-la !

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Terminator Jokes More Terminator Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-terminator!

What do Glenn Rhee, Jon Snow, and the Terminator have in common?

They'll be back.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why was the World Trade Center in a hurry?

It had a plane to catch.

What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying?

Aw man, that's a drag."

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

What kind of seagull flies over a bay?

A Bay-gull

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi?

People from Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do

Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?

It wasn't her job to educate people.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker?

You might get your baby back off a pitbull.

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Italian Chef Jokes More Italian Chef Jokes

Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant?

Gnocchi.

How did the Italian chef break up with his girlfriend?

Pasta la vista, baby."

Hasta La Vista Jokes More Hasta La Vista Jokes

What does a black men and the Terminator have in common?

One says "Hasta la vista baby!!" and the other one says "Hasta la vista son"

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.