Coo Jokes

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

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What did the chill pigeon say?

coo. coo.

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

Why did the pigeon get thrown in jail?

For staging a coo

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do intersecting lines hate each other?

Because they do nothing except making themselves cross.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pedant and a sadist?

A sadist is honest about his intentions. That probably wasn't funny, but what do I know?

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

What sound does a Turkey make?

coup coup"

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken attend the seance?

To get to the other side.

What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Why do most blind folks not skydive?

The sound of the dog screaming at 8000 feet gets to you after a while.

What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum?

I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy

Pigeon Jokes More Pigeon Jokes

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

How did the townsfolk find out the pigeons were plotting a revolution?

A: They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What is the most well educated type of nut?

Macademia.

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)