Crimea Jokes

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

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Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

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How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Eastern Europe Jokes More Eastern Europe Jokes

What do you call an arcade in eastern europe?

czech-e-cheese

Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking?

Crimea River

Invade Jokes More Invade Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why did Genghis invade China?

Because he khan.

River Jokes More River Jokes

What do you call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?

Fur traders.

What do you get if you cross a river with a bridge?

to the other side.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What do you call a black guy that visits r/jokes regularly ?

A masochist

What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

What happens when 2 meets 3 at Times Square?

36

People Jokes More People Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.