Crimea Jokes

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

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Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer to cry in the dark.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

What's red, white, and black all over?

An American plantation.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

How do the Russian people feel about their government?

They're Putin up with it.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

What did the U.S airdrop the the children of Syria?

Dead parents

River Jokes More River Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

What is the river of negation called?

The Nile

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What fish only swims at night ?

A starfish !

How do you sink a norwegian submarine?

Swim down and knock on the hatch. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They do the same about swedes)

Eastern Europe Jokes More Eastern Europe Jokes

What do you call an arcade in eastern europe?

czech-e-cheese

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

Negotiate Jokes More Negotiate Jokes

Where does Putin negotiate?

The Crimea River

Why didn't the President fight with the chair?

Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists.