Daily Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

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Convince Jokes More Convince Jokes

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-nile...

Why did man invent curling?

To convince women sweeping was a sport.

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

Why do so many Australian men experience premature ejeculation?

Because they cant wait to get out and tell all their friends about scoring.

How to get a job without experience ?

Just run for office!

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Where do cows go when they die?

Burgertory

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

Because he "pulled a few strings"!

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

Breastfeed Jokes More Breastfeed Jokes

Why are smaller breasts better for breastfeeding?

They're more of a kids meal.

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What do soybeans call their mother?

Edamame.

Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

They want to look like their mothers.