Good Dad Jokes

Why don't airplanes make good dads?

They are always taking off.

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Why was the storm trooper such a good dad?

He could never hit his kids.

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Compete Jokes More Compete Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

What do you call a mexican with two dads?

No mames!

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

Why do walruses go to tupperware parties?

They are always looking for a tight seal.

What did Reddit almost change their name to during the Victoria controversy?

Blueit. -just thought of it, sorry its a little late to the party

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?

Because of all the seaweed!

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

What did the set-up say to the punchline?

You're nothing but a joke.

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?

They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!

Why did they have to put Michael Jackson down?

Because he couldn't race anymore!

Paul Jokes More Paul Jokes

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.