Jazz Jokes

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

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What's the difference between rock and jazz?

Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

Which group of people are the best at jazz?

The Saxons!

What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz?

Elephants Gerald

Why do you never see red headed Jazz musicians?

They have no soul...

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How old is your girlfriend?

She's52" "Haha, dude, she could be your mom!" "Yeah, actually it's yours"

What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

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Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

What do you call an antelope with 3 legs?

A slantelope.

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How does a French lady hold her liquor?

By the ears

Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop?

The Liquor store

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What did the DJ say to the jazz musician?

Take me to the airport.

What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

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What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

What is a guy who hangs out with musicians called?

A singer

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What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10?

Friend: 9 Me: 9? I'll give her one..

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Why is 9 crying?

me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep

What do you call it when Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin get together for a drink?

A communist party

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What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?

A mist conception.

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to get in.