How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on new years?

Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

There was no atmosphere

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building?

New Yolk

What do you call an international criminal waffle that you dropped at the beach?

Carmen Sandy Eggo

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth?

A: A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

How do you tell Michael Jackson's age?

You put a color scale next to his face.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Andrew Jackson?

One goes from black to white, the other goes from white to black.

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle?

The candle is a thousand times brighter!

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

New Year Jokes More New Year Jokes

What's your New Year's resolution?

Mines is still 1920x1080, unfortunately.

What's my New Year resolution?

Well, I just got a Hi-Def TV, so it's 1920 X 1080i.