Miss Piggy Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?

Coach. What do you call one white guy surrounded by 100 black guys Warden.

What is six inches long has a bald head and drives every woman crazy?

100$ bill

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

What is 34.5?

69 for midgets

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Why does Peter Dinklage drink Smirnoff?

Because he can't reach for the Grey Goose

Not Miss Piggy Jokes More Not Miss Piggy Jokes

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 100?

Every time she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

Kermitment Jokes More Kermitment Jokes

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.