Painting Jokes

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Why are drug addicts bad at billiards?

Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball

What's hit more balls than David Beckham's right foot?

Elton John's chin.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What kind of math do owls like?

Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

What, over in ten seconds?

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends?

He's a fungi

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their knees

What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Home Depot Jokes More Home Depot Jokes

How do you know you are in the gardening section of Home Depot?

Everything is priced in pesos.

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a power tool?

Power tools are found inside the Home Depot.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why aren't there very many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones?

The punchline is too long.

What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other?

Purranks.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.