Painting Jokes

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

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Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What did one ghost say to another?

I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people.

What religion believes in the Big Bang?

Islam.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What does a depressed girl do when she needs to get a lot of work done?

She takes Sadderall.

How do you know Bono is selfish?

He does a lot of Pro-Bono work.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What's the prognosis, Doc?

DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.

What does the doctor say to the woman who has to get a c section?

There's not enough womb!

Red Paint Jokes More Red Paint Jokes

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

A: Both crews were marooned.

What's red and smells like white paint?

Red paint.

Shovel Jokes More Shovel Jokes

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Dug

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.

Wedding Night Jokes More Wedding Night Jokes

Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night?

Han shot first.

What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night?

A double bridle

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

Downvote Jokes More Downvote Jokes

What did the troll say to the new user who accidentally made a repost?

Reddit already. Downvote.

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke