Patrick Jokes

Why did Patrick's girlfriend have to go to the doctor?

She had a weast infection.

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What's the difference between mlk day and st. Patrick's day?

Everyone WANTS to be irish on st Patrick's day.

Why is Patrick so dumb?

He's living under a rock.

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Lad Jokes More Lad Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?

Carry the Juan

How long does it take to for Mexicans to do a job?

Oh, wait they're done.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a dog and a tulip?

A collieflower

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Patrick Stewart Jokes More Patrick Stewart Jokes

Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

St. Patrick Jokes More St. Patrick Jokes

What's the difference between mlk day and st. Patrick's day?

Everyone WANTS to be irish on st Patrick's day.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Leper Jokes More Leper Jokes

What did one leper say to another?

Got yer nose!

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Christopher Columbus Jokes More Christopher Columbus Jokes

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.