Ryan Lochte Jokes

What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?

Ryan Locht-up

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What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

When the bartender asks you what's in a Ryan Lochte?

Just say "I don't know, make something up"

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?

GoldiLochtes

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Stroke Jokes More Stroke Jokes

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

Star Jokes More Star Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation..."

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people live in the lower part of Italy?

There are literally Sicilians.

How do you call a party with people who have epilepsy?

Foam fest

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?

A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

What did the getaway driver do after his accomplice, Rice, robbed the bank?

Pilaf.

Dancing Star Jokes More Dancing Star Jokes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.

Dancing Jokes More Dancing Jokes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.