Secret Service Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

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What is the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man is shot?

The Secret Service

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?

One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How do you make the best Harlem Shake video?

You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children.

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

How do you know that Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

What do you call four black men in a red sleeping bag?

A Kit-Kat.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What did Anne Frank say when she threw a ball at the water fowl's head?

Duck!

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole?

Because Donald ducked.

Secret Service Agent Jokes More Secret Service Agent Jokes

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He's the stiff one.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What do you call someone who supports Hillary?

Paid off.

Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?

A gun only has one trigger.

What did the American vet did when he came to back from Vietnam?

The guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume!"

Stiff Jokes More Stiff Jokes

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.