Secret Service Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

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What is the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man is shot?

The Secret Service

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

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Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

Why do you never see a black person with Down Syndrome?

God doesn't punish anyone twice.

What's something a white person says a lot, but a black person never says?

Hi dad!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza?

Most people like the idea of pizza better.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

Why are white prisoners scarier than black prisoners?

The white guy might actually be guilty. (Stolen from a comment by )

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

Why did Steph Curry cross the road?

Because he wasnt far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot.

Al Gore Jokes More Al Gore Jokes

What did the wind turbine say to Al Gore?

I'm a big fan.

How does Al Gore spell potato?

A: T-A-T-E-R.

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble?

Because it was a wrapped scallion.

Stiff Jokes More Stiff Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

Law Enforcement Agency Jokes More Law Enforcement Agency Jokes

What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles?

The pro-lease department

What is the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man is shot?

The Secret Service