Slit Jokes

What do emos say at good parties?

It slit.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.

What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires?

What's a movie?

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning?

He was conducting.

Emos Jokes More Emos Jokes

How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer to cry in the dark.

What do Emos and automatic lights have in common?

They'll both off themselves eventually.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What do narcoleptic people drink in bars?

BoozZzZzZzZzZzZ

What's worse than a Redditor walking into a bar?

The Holocaust.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why do crippled kids get picked on so much?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater?

This is the most violent story I've ever read!

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women prefer old gynecologists?

Their shaky hands!

What's another word for knowing that you're right?

Woman

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

Why must you be religious to join the Navy?

Because it's a place of war ship.