How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex?

A Krismas goose.

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many millenials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. They hold it in place while the world revolves around them.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?

None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant?

A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

Post.

Paranoid Jokes More Paranoid Jokes

What do you call a skydiving tonsil who's afraid that something bad might happen?

Paranoid!

What do you call a shape that's always worried?

A paranoid. (Wooo maths jokes)