What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do women always sleep on the left side of the bed?

BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS!!!!!

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

How many fuccbois does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

idk, you dtf tho

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time?

They're way too into Stalin

Where does it stop?

8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?

If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made?

A nut for a jar of tuna.

What's up Dad Party!" *dads go nuts* "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.