Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears?

Britney asked to be hit one more time..

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves?

Russell

What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

You leave him hanging....

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between Taylor Swift and Adele?

About fifty pounds

Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire?

A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house?

Biden

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What did the necrophile say to his ex-girlfriend?

I only loved you for your body!"

What did the redneck say to his ex?

Can we still be cousins?"

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.