Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's wrong with little Timmy?

Mom, sad): He went to Jared.

What do your mom and a camel have in common?

They both spit.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only need one nail to hang

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?

Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).

What did the gold miner say when he met the singer of Pink Floyd?

Au

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

Who built the first American car?

Student: "Me Pilgrims." Teacher: "The Pilgrims " Student: "Yeah they made the Mayflower Compact."

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What did one termite say to another in a burning building?

Barbecue tonight!"

Who's there ! Chile ! Chile who?

Chile out tonight !