Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia?

He was snowed in.

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What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside?

A hot dog.

Why did the duck leave his flock?

Because he wanted to be a-loone.

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What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

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Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow?

He got snowed in.

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Why does the NSA hate the winter?

They got snowed in.

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Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia?

He was snowed in.