Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?

A. She kept throwing out all the W's.

Why did the Italian get thrown out of the hotel?

He said "I wanna two sheet onna the bed".

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

What's blue, small and sits in a corner?

A baby with its hand in the power socket.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Herb Jokes More Herb Jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Thyme Jokes More Thyme Jokes

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.