Herb Jokes

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

What do you call an avid gardener?

Herb

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs?

PARSLEYMONIOUS

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Plaice Jokes More Plaice Jokes

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman?

The fish doesn't know it's plaice.

Thyme Jokes More Thyme Jokes

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

Waste Jokes More Waste Jokes

Why fart and waste it?

When you can burp and taste it.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones?

He wanted to buy stock options.

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

Computer Disk Drive Jokes More Computer Disk Drive Jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?

Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See It works doesn't it

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

How is a computer like an air conditioner?

They both stop working properly when you open windows.

American Jokes More American Jokes

How do American chickens cross the road?

In a bucket.

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

Ignore Jokes More Ignore Jokes

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

What is the most-ignored rule in a convent?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten.