Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

Can I hold your hand hand hand hand?

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie?

People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!

Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh?

Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How do you call 4 blacks in a car falling off the cliff?

A waste. You could fit 1 more in the trunk.

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

Marvel Jokes More Marvel Jokes

Who makes the music for the Marvel movies?

The Avengers Ensemble.

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

What did the pebble say to the rock?

I wish I was a little boulder!

Bikini Jokes More Bikini Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

What do you call a sheman wearing a bikini?

Flaccid