Bikini Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

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What do you call a sheman wearing a bikini?

Flaccid

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

How do you make the king leer?

Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)

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Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

Why did the chicken?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

Why do the French always were white when pole vaulting?

So people can see them surrender from afar. Edit: wrong form of the form "wear"

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you say to a guy with kidney stones?

Urine trouble!

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

What's the difference between a Chinese man and a lobster under a bus?

Nothing. They're both crustacians.

When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

before 15:30 ... I'll show myself out

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

What 3 books would you have on a desert island?

ME: My first book is more books. F: What These aren't wish M: Second book's a TV.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

Why is Gordon Ramsey always so angry?

Because people get all up in his grill.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?

They know people will blow them.

What did the doctor say to the domestic abuse victim?

See you next "fall".

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head?

Sir.