Bad Place Jokes

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

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What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

The ICU (I-see-you!)

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

What is the worst place to go on Black Friday?

Awnser: Home Depot They have power tools lol

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

Where my single ladies at?

drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone* This is a bad place to meet men

What's the worst place to be during a tornado?

Cracker Barrel.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital?

In the I.C.U.

Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

In the ICU.

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Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ?

Because it hurt.

How do you trap an elephant?

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

How do you turn tap water into holy water?

You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman

What do women and computers have in common?

What do women and computers have in common? You don't appreciate them until they go down on you.

Tone Jokes More Tone Jokes

Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body?

Dumbbelldor.

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

What did the surfer say when he visited Syria?

This place is totally radical!

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

Where did Sally go during the explosion?

Everywhere!

California Jokes More California Jokes

What do the woman from southern California and the clouds over the Pacific coast have in commen?

They're both Marine layers

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first