Barstool Jokes

How do you fit four sailors onto a barstool?

Turn the barstool upside down.

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What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender?

No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. end metajoke

How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool?

Flip it upside-down.

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Sailor Jokes More Sailor Jokes

How well did the sailor do in school?

Not bad actually, he got high 'C's.

Why couldn't the sailors play cards?

Because the Captain was stood on the deck!

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

Why the long pause?

asks the bartender. The bear replies "Well, I am a bear"

How do you encourage a bartender?

That's the spirit!" How do you discourage a bartender Boos.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

Why did Avogadro have trouble picking up chicks?

Because his number couldn't fit in their phones

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How'd the monkey fall out of the tree. He was dead. How'd the next second monkey fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the first monkey! How'd the Third monkey fall out of the tree. Peer Pressure.

Why did the ox fall down the hill?

A: It was an oxident.

Flip Jokes More Flip Jokes

What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

Why is Grace never thirsty?

Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

Why can't chinese people have phone directories?

There are too many wongs and wings and someone could wing the wong number.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What do you want for dinner?

4: A bucket.. *Googles better school districts

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x1023 pieces?

Guacamole.

How do you get thrown out of a concentration camp?

Bad for moral Cutting in line Organizing hunger strikes