Deadhead Jokes

How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

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How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

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Grateful Dead Jokes More Grateful Dead Jokes

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why won't Hillary ever pull out?

She's never finished screwing people.

What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am, We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Why don't women need watches?

There's a clock on the stove.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year?

Avo, CA does.

Grateful Dead Fan Jokes More Grateful Dead Fan Jokes

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

30 Year Jokes More 30 Year Jokes

What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years?

A four term US senator.

What do you call a spouse of 30 years?

A stalemate.