Decision Jokes

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

How does a penguin make a decision?

Flipper coin. Again, I shall take my leave.

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

What's the difference between "a choice" and " to choose?

A choice" is a decision you make. "To choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

Where do war generals make decisions?

In a think tank

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

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Weakness Jokes More Weakness Jokes

What are some of your weaknesses?

Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it A: I'm lazy to list them all...

What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

Lucas Jokes More Lucas Jokes

Why do the English drink warm beer?

Lucas refrigerators.

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do flies wear on their feet?

A: Shoos.

What do you say to a molecular biologist who's about to step foot into the ring?

Show him what you're made of!

Supreme Court Jokes More Supreme Court Jokes

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice?

Because his mind was always on a pellet.

Native American Jokes More Native American Jokes

What do you call a Native American who graduated from medical school?

A doctor you racist

Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot?

He didn't like dealing with reservations.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight. :D

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?

So that they can pack the defence!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mic Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud". A Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do clocks do when they're still hungry after a meal?

They go back four seconds.

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.