Decision Jokes

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

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How does a penguin make a decision?

Flipper coin. Again, I shall take my leave.

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

What's the difference between "a choice" and " to choose?

A choice" is a decision you make. "To choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

Where do war generals make decisions?

In a think tank

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

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What do you call a group of kangaroos?

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An acappellago

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Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

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Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

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What do you call a group of people who hate Mexicans?

Que Que Que

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

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Which fraternity was George Lucas in during College?

Psi Phi.

Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti?

A Pastatute

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What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

Why do the English drink warm beer?

Lucas refrigerators.

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Why did the dolphin get a fair trial?

Because Habeas Porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

endorphins