Discount Jokes

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend?

Prose before hoes.

What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop?

Now is the winter of our discount tents

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

Whats the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go to a store without robin.

Where do you store your wine?

In the cabernet

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?

Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'