Ellen Jokes

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What is Ellen's favourite food?

Kung-Pao Chicken.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google?

A Chromophobe.

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

Tennis Jokes More Tennis Jokes

Why do orphans like tennis?

Only place they can get love

Why do orphans like playing tennis?

Because its the only love they get.

Ponzi Buddy Jokes More Ponzi Buddy Jokes

What's Ellen Pao's husband's favourite web plugin?

Ponzi Buddy.

What is Ellen Pao's favourite piece of Malware?

Ponzi Buddy

Mod Jokes More Mod Jokes

What does a mod do in their spare time?

Deleted

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you say to a dangerously cheesy chicken?

Stay out of parms way.

How does water stay warm during the winter?

It wears an aqua-fur.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

Why are people not right in the head?

Because on the left side of the brain there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left!

Why is the brain always anxious?

It's part of the nervous system.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many members of Linkin Park does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.