Ellen Jokes

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What is Ellen's favourite food?

Kung-Pao Chicken.

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Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?

You punch her

How do you break a Pollock's finger?

Punch him in the nose.

Lipstick Jokes More Lipstick Jokes

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

she yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

Mod Jokes More Mod Jokes

How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian?

dereted

How many mods does it take to change a lightbulb?

deleted

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What I hated the most in Facebook?

See more

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog

What did one socket say to the other?

Stay grounded.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What do you call a country run by a bunch of stubborn old deer?

A stagnation

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the doggy cross the road?

A:To get to the bone! Q:Why did the bone cross the road A: To get away!

What do you get when you cross a mexican, a queer, and an eskimo?

A snow-blower that doesn't work.

Ceo Jokes More Ceo Jokes

What does the CEO of Keurig have in common with ISIS?

They both hate the French press

How many startup CEOs does it take to change a light bulb?

Change a light bulb Pfft! We are game changers.