Family Tree Jokes

Why are there many black people hanging around my family tree?

because im a black man you racist

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What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

What can you tell a black kid to do?

Go visit his family tree.

What did the white guy see when he looked at his family tree?

A straight line.

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What do you call a slightly incomplete Yahtzee set?

Pair o' Dice Lost"

What does an Arab say after losing his virginity?

Good goat!

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What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

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Why did the German girl count to three, then cry?

Because her boyfriend was going in .

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

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Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop. I'll show myself out.

Why did the cows cross the road?

They wanted to go to the mooo....vies

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How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

What do drug dealers sit on?

KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is.

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Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital?

ICU

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What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common?

They both have ornamental balls

How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?

They both have ornamental balls.

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.