Football Match Jokes

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

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What lights up a football stadium ?

A football match !

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

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What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

The scenter spot!

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

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How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?

They go Bar Hopping!...

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Who is the only person able to knock out Ronda Rousey?

Bill Cosby

What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti?

A Pastatute

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Why was the football stadium so cold?

Because of all the fans.

Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?

He tripped a fan

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How about pets?

That's fine" dog walks in and lights up "We'll take it"

What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

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Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo?

Because 0 1 2

What's worse than the Holocaust?

Winning the jackpot in two separate lotteries at the same time.

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How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well?

She was shouting for help.

How do you separate two blind people fighting?

You just simply shout: "I'm supporting the one with the knife!"

Referendum Jokes More Referendum Jokes

What's the plural of "Referendum"?

Riots.

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.