Footlong Jokes

How are strippers and Subway workers similar?

They'll both lie and tell you it's a footlong to get paid.

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What did Jared say when the girl asked him for a footlong?

That he only has a 6 inch.

Why did the horny girl go to Subway?

For a $5 footlong.

This joke may have profanity.

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

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Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend?

Baaaaaeeeee!

How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?

They storm the baaaastille.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How much does a moil get paid?

A: Fifty dollars and a tip.

What are you called if you are paid to be a thing?

A pro-noun!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

Stripper Jokes More Stripper Jokes

What secret society do strippers work for?

The Illuminaughty.

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

How can a cat walk with no feet?

He can't, it's impawsible.

Obsess Jokes More Obsess Jokes

Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets?

Felons can't buy guns

What do you call a foreigner who is obsessed with Chinese culture?

A zhuologist

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.