Good News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What's the good news?

Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why don't cats like online shopping?

They prefer a cat-alogue.

What does a cat sleep on?

A: A caterpillow.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't Lebron go to college?

he didn't want to show up for the finals

Why Does Paris Hilton Have a Chihuahua?

Cause she doesn't want a Dog thats more intelligent than her!

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's the worse thing to hear during a prostate exam?

A zip.

Why did the duck go to the basketball game?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls!

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

Doc Jokes More Doc Jokes

Who let the docs out?

Google. Google docs.

Why are YOU afraid?

Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW

Yankee Jokes More Yankee Jokes

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

What do you call an obese terrorist who plays for the Yankees?

Derek Bin Jeter

Paul Jokes More Paul Jokes

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!