Good News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What's the good news?

Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

You might also enjoy:

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the difference between a golfball and a woman's 'G' spot?

A man will actually spend 20 minutes looking for a golfball... Alternative punchline: Man can actually hit a golfball...

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What cat purrs more than any other ?

Purrsians !

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

Yankee Jokes More Yankee Jokes

What do you call an obese terrorist who plays for the Yankees?

Derek Bin Jeter

What is the definition of a Yankee?

A Yankee is the same as a quickie except you're by yourself

Doc Jokes More Doc Jokes

What's Up Doc?

by Howie Dewin

When Bruce Jenner finally gets his va-jay-jay operation done, will the docs give him a hymen?

And who's gonna be the lucky guy to pop it

Pitcher Jokes More Pitcher Jokes

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

What did the baseball manager do when he needed another man in the bullpen?

He took a can of orange juice from the freezer and made a pitcher.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

Why did a man bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks were on the house..... I'll see myself out.

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.