Paul Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul walker in a porshce?

Dunn Walking!!!

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What works better than anti-depressants?

A 12 Gauge in the mouth This came to me whilst being all depressed.

What do a priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you call a natural blonde who dies her hair?

Artificial intelligence.

Why did John F. Kennedy die?

He was too open-minded.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

half-a-dog!

What do you call a half native pirate?

Metis

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why did the farmer feed his cows money?

A: He wanted rich milk.

What did the farmer say to Pat Sajak?

I'd like to buy an owl

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What about over there?

she said. "I can't," I replied, "It says between 1 and 9 only." "Well, why is that stopping you " "I'm 23."

Glove Box Jokes More Glove Box Jokes

How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

We found her head and shoulders in the glove box.

How do they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her Head n' Shoulders in the glove box.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for?

Because he's always standing by The Edge.

What do you find in a pumpkins pants?

A Halloweenie!