Paul Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul walker in a porshce?

Dunn Walking!!!

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

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What did Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and Nelson Mandela all have in common?

They're all criminals.

What do Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela have in Common?

Theyre both dead and black.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do you bowl a 301?

Do you know anyone who has bowled a 300 and lost

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster ....

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a ginger from drowning?

You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

Rihanna Jokes More Rihanna Jokes

What's black, red, and blue all over?

Rihanna.

Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for?

Britney Spears

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

What did Michael get for his birthday?

Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Whats the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their knees

Warn Jokes More Warn Jokes

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York?

Pigpockets.

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny