Grip Jokes

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

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What's the difference between a red head and a blue head?

Your grip.

Where's the fire ma'am?

grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"

What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

A: It's all in the grip.

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

What do you call a shoe with no grip?

A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

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Broomstick Jokes More Broomstick Jokes

Why did the witch go commando?

She needed some better grip on her broomstick.

Why dont witches wear underwear?

So they can get a good grip on the broomstick

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many twists does a feminist need to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just grab it and the world to revolve around them.

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.

Underwear Jokes More Underwear Jokes

What brand of underwear did Jesus wear?

Fruit of the Womb

What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR &amp?

a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

Spit Jokes More Spit Jokes

Why do so many guys spit in urinals?

Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.

When is the only appropriate time to spit in an Italian woman's face?

When her mustache is on fire!

Saxophone Jokes More Saxophone Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

You can tune a chainsaw.

What kind of phone makes music?

A saxophone.

Gambling Addiction Jokes More Gambling Addiction Jokes

What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction?

A vice grip.

What does an Irish terrorist attack and a gambling addiction have in common?

Dublin down

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?

A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House?

Receiving heads of state.

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.