Kevin Hart Jokes

Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

His life improved after he met the rock.

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Which president likes doing laundry?

George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart.

When can a woman make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire (Credit to Kevin Hart)

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Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?

A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

President Jokes More President Jokes

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

Improve Jokes More Improve Jokes

Which candidate will most improve our country?

2016 election: Which candidate is least likely to start The Purge

How do you get Reddit to improve their search function?

Have CNN report on how bad it is

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

Soba noodles!

What is the opposite of a Predator?

a Postdator

Laundry Jokes More Laundry Jokes

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

What do people do for a party itinerary in the Jersey Shore?

Gym.Tan.Laundry.

8 Year Old Jokes More 8 Year Old Jokes

What does a French beaver call her home?

Madame

What do you call a nut that can't talk?

Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music!

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks?

On the rocks

Why would you throw a rock at a Mexican man riding a bike?

Because it's probably your bike. Why would you throw a rock at a black man riding a bike? Because it's probably your black man.